Too Damn Late -- Episode 17.0: MS Advertising IE... Really?
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's roughly 1:24 AM CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first amendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't like writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

Despite the storms that have past through a few hours ago (when this was written) that have now died down, there's one thing that I'm finding totally ridiculous here: Microsoft advertising Internet Explorer 8 on TV.

Microsoft is advertising IE on TV with a "Fake Bank" ad where people are giving away practically every piece of their personal information to a rediculous level (would anybody actually care if you're wearing boxers or briefs? Unless your a girlfriend or a wife... I'm guessing the interest level is practically 0.000%) to open an account which they give you $500. While I am aware that Microsoft is trying to bring a parallel of scams from online to the real world here, but really... do they really need to?

First of all, anybody with HALF A BRAIN would be perfectly aware that you can't get free money without some type of string attached to it. Pay Pal originally gave away $5 with new accounts, but you had to deposit $50 into your account. If all you had to do in order to score $500 is to fill out some paperwork, the bank would be going into the red so fast that it probably would qualify for a federal bailout. The other issue is the rediculous level of information requested in the fake bank's paperwork. Most banks & credit unions only ask for your name, address, social security number (for tax reasons) & a minimum deposit (usually between $5 & $100 for savings). They wouldn't ask for your pet's name, undergarment choices or a hair sample (for DNA). The same thing tends to be standard for online banking. The only exception is Pay Pal as they don't require any deposits, but they want you to link a bank account (or a credit card) to your account for transfers. Pretty much anybody who had any common sense would catch on to the obvious scams.

Second of all, nearly ALL BROWSERS have some type of anti-scam measures in place. Usually these are in-place by default when you install them. Most browsers except for IE utilize Google's "Blacklist" to protect & warn users about questionable websites. Microsoft does it's own thing & doesn't utilize public blacklists, so they're doing things the hard way. It could be protecting you, but it could be doing better. I know that Firefox gives you a big-ass warning page with a big red box with a warning message on a black (or heavily darkened) background. HOWEVER, this protective measure can be disabled by true idiots (those born without a brain stem, which I know a good number of... a couple, I had to rescue their sorry asses from their own idiotic actions)... & trust me, I know a few idiots that would be dumb enough to do this (as well as go online without an anti-virus program).

Third, Internet Explorer doesn't have the add-on support that other browsers have... especially where security is concerned. Firefox & Chrome allow you to pick up add-ons like NoScript (which prevents sites running scripts on your browser WITHOUT your permission, which can help prevent hackers from attacking you) & Ad Block Plus (which blocks ads from websites, which doesn't necessarily prevent hacker attacks, but block spyware tracking ad servers) which adds a "Paranoia Level" of protection. Explorer doesn't have this... or at least to the point I'm willing to cough up $20 for such support (at the last time I actually bothered to check). Even if I have to work on a computer without an anti-virus program (which I'd work quickly to remedy & seriously give the computer owner a talking to in the process), NoScript would give me some protection against the unknown. Even if the site that I was visiting included a poisoned script from an outside server, NoScript would protect me as it wouldn't have permission to run.

Finally, NO BROWSERS ADVERTISE OFFLINE!!! Firefox doesn't advertise offline, except for some public stunts done by people... but they have practically no advertising budget, yet they get people through word-of-mouth advertising. Chrome, while created by Google, does no offline advertising either. However, Google does a lot of shameless plugs on their network & sites, but their browser is pretty solid & a bit open-ended (not fully open-source like Firefox, but it gives users & developers a lot of freedom). Even Opera, one of the few ancient (by today's standards, originally released around 1995) & originally commercial browsers (it's now available freely for computers, but they may charge for special mobile versions) doesn't advertise offline either... or at least in the US (as it's origins are in Europe... around the Norway / Finland area). While I must note that Netscape (Firefox's spiritual predicessor) did advertise offline, but they were promoting their ISP services & throwing in their browser... or at least until AOL (who owns Netscape) officially killed the browser to leave it's spiritual successor, Firefox (as both were originally created by Mozilla) to live on. Apple doesn't even advertise it's own browser Safari offline, or at least without an iPod, iPhone, iPad or iMac running it. While they're showing Safari, they're mainly advertising their hardware & NOT the software.

This kind of advertising idiocy tends to be Microsoft's Standard policy to problems: Throw money at the problem & hope it goes away. Problems with Windows ME? Throw Money at it! Problems with XBox 360's dying? Throw Money at it (by replacing people's systems)! Bad Press with Vista? Throw Money at it with advertising instead of dedicating that money towards improving Vista (or expediting the development of Windows 7). It's just an obvious thing that Microsoft does that even Apple made a jab at it with one of their "PC-Mac" commercials. If practically everybody is dissing your product, trying to generate buzz with advertising isn't really going to work... or at least with the reasonable smart people (those who generally don't get themselves into trouble with scams & phishing attacks). If it's a flop, you're just better off improving the product OR JUST LET THE THING DIE!

If Microsoft worked a bit harder on quality instead of market share, a fair number of people (mostly Mac & Linux users) wouldn't be dissing them on a near-daily basis. Until Apple gets off their pretentious asses & permit other computer makers to run their OS (& therefore, make Mac OS X more accessible to people) & until Linux gets relaxes their security measures a bit to increase user-friendliness (to the point that you don't need a degree in rocket surgery to install a simple outside application), I'm begrudgingly forced to use MS Windows to fire off my rants. I know you may brand me a hypocrite for using a MS product to diss MS themselves... but until something truely better as an OS comes up, I'm stuck here.

It's now 2:55 AM... I'm off to bed.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 16.0: Net Neutrality
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's Midnight CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

As you may (or may not) be aware of, an Appeals Court has ruled against the FCC on the issue of Comcast throttling speeds of BitTorrent users. This causes a blow to Net Neutrality movement & places us one step closer to monopolistic anarchy. HOWEVER, before I start spouting off my beliefs... let's take a look at both sides of the issue.

Essentially, "Net Neutrality" is the idea that all traffic going through a specific network is treated equally, regardless of data, protocol or distance required in the transmission. Your e-mail is treated just the same as your neighbor's music download, your friend's online gameplay or your kid's video stream. Despite the different destinations for each piece of data, they're all processed in a timely fashion at the best speed available from both sides of the transmission. While ISP's still controls how fast you can upload & download data (& charging you as specified), everything is given equal attention by them. It's up to you on how to utilize your internet connection & it's up to you to decide if some programs should get more attention & bandwidth than others. Most routers now have a "Quality of Service" (QoS) setting that allows you to throttle the various transmissions on your side. This is mostly designed to allow stuff like VOIP activities (like Skype & Vonage) to take up more bandwidth on your connection & throttle your file downloads.

Those who are against Net Neutrality (like Comcast) are essentially taking away your right to manage your own connection by throttling connection speeds for a given service or protocol (like BitTorrent). While they're doing it more to balance their network loads, it also means that you can't fully utilize your connection for a service they're throttling. Their arguement is that they built the infrastructure & they want the right to manage their network however they please.

My arguement for "Net Neutrality" is that allow ISP's to throttle the connections of their customers on specific services become an extremely slipperly slope. While it may start with throttling some services like BitTorrent to balance network loads, it could later move onto throttling other services that are competing against other services that the ISP may provide. Using Comcast as an example here, they could start throttling video-on-demand services like Hulu, YouTube or Netflix in order to push their own video-on-demand service through cable. Next, if you want to use services OTHER than what they provide, they could start charging you a premium to access such services that were originally free or subscription based. Then, even if you're not on their network, if you're accessing a website that uses their network, they could charge you a fee just for visiting said site. You could get raped for $100 / month instead of the original $50 / month you pay for... on top of your online subscriptions (like XBox Live & Netflix) to fully utilize your connection. To make this even sleazier, the ISP's could charge websites like eBay, Amazon or Apple's iTunes Store to PREVENT them from throttling connections to their sites... now where did I hear something like this happening... Ah, Yes... THE MOB RUNNING A PROTECTION RACKETEERING RING! They're charging you to get unthrottled access to a website on your connection & charging the website for unthrottled access for customers on that ISP.

While I don't necessarily hate Comcast, while they do run some cable networks/channels (like G4) that I like, it's just their ISP service that is getting all the crap because they're doing stuff that seems very underhanded towards their own subscribers. With Net Neutrality, you can go anywhere & do whatever you want with your internet connection & get charged a flat rate (assuming there's no usage limit for your service, as some ISP's are metering usage... which totally bites). Without that on the books as a law, your ISP can tell you where & where you can't go online. For example, if you wanted to buy some books, they force you to use Barnes & Noble instead of Amazon & so on.

The one biggest loser in an non-neutral internet would be all the cloud services, like Google's office suite, GrooveShark (for music), BOINC (distributed processing, like SETI@HOME), YouTube, OnLive (gaming) & so on... These services can only exist on neutral internet because the data is not located in a central location. If the service relies on servers located elsewhere to store your data, you'll likely get screwed over if your ISP has control over how fast you can connect to the service... if you can connect to that service at all.

Net Neutrality is NOT Government censorship or Government control over services. It's just a measure of regulation to level the playing field for everybody from the largest corporation to the tiniest start-up. For those who state that "the Internet is just a luxury"... let's nit-pick at the framework here on a level that would seriously hurt you: ATM's & Debit / Credit Cards. They run on the same framework as the internet, while there's only a small amount of data getting transfer (say 1 KB), the ATM network has to be "net neutral" in order for transactions to reach their destinations without any problems. While the bank running the ATM & your bank may charge you a fee on the transaction, you can use any ATM in the world without having to worry about who runs the network. The same can be said with Debit & Credit Cards, but the fees are usually placed upon the company that takes the transaction instead of the person using it. If those networks were neutral, you'd likely get knocked up with fees for every network you cross. This could cost you around $5 & $10 per transaction! While this could be exaggerated a bit, it's just one example how a non-neutral network can royally screw you over.

I just believe that the internet, much like information, should be open & free. A kid using a computer at a library should have the right to access anything they want online (within reason) that a Multi-Trillionaire (say, Bill Gates or Warren Buffet... for example) can access. Websites can still charge a premium for their content if they want, but it's their choice.

That's all I have for this episode... I may right more if feel light tonight.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 13.0 : The Viral Horrors
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's Midnight CST & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

Everybody who actually has a brain knows that you need a good anti-virus & firewall to keep all the viruses & malware off your system, but for those who "slacked off" (to put it in "nice" terms)... here's two horrors that should scare you into getting your systems up to date.

 

Like other malware, it looks for a way to slip onto your computer. However, once it gets inside your system, it silently goes to work & downloads child pornography onto your computer while "phoning home" to the virus maker that you're now part of their "Cloud Porn Network". With this cloud network, the virus maker can secretly view the child porn their virus downloaded to your computer anytime they want without getting caught. To make things worse, if they want to be an evil jerk... they could anonymously tip off your local authorities about those pictures & arrest you.

Even though you're innocent, the malware author has perfectly framed you with little room to appeal the alledged crime. Even if you manage to successfully appeal the criminal charge, it could take months to clear your name & by then, the damage the accusation is already done. One victim of this took 12 months to prove that it was a virus that was downloading the child pornography (by showing it wasn't humanly possible to acquire that much in such little time) & by then, it destroyed his family, his career & his life. Pretty much the main reason it took so long is that "It's not me, it's a virus doing it" has been beaten to death by actual pedophiles in the courts... so it tends to fall on deafened ears when it's actually the case.

anti-virus makers are flagging it as virus because of it's destructive nature as it could destroy a system-critical file. Despite the warning, there are some "players" (if you want to call the idiots who play the dangerous game) who've destroyed nearly 6,000 aliens in the game... which means that their computers are 6,000 files lighter.

To put this in perspective, my computer has roughly 193,000 files covering 68.2 GB's of HD space. If I played "Lose/Lose" & got a score of 6,000, that would mean that 3.11% of all the files on my system would be deleted. Assuming that none of the files of my file recovery program that I have installed were destroyed, I COULD be able to undo the damage... but it would be too much of a risk to personally deal with. However, since Windows XP's core is comprised of 10% of all the files (but only 5% of HD space, excluding virtual memory), the game could either miss XP's core altogether or nail it hard depending on how "random" the file deletion is.

While this isn't necessarily a "new" idea, as I've actually thought of a similar sinister idea at least a decade ago, it IS the first time this idea has been publicly displayed. This idea is particularly sinister as it hides the true destructive natures in a game. While it would be devastating to a well known game publisher, much like an extremely restrictive anti-piracy measures, a lesser known publisher or an indie game maker could do unknown harm to your system under this idea. If they really want to hide this destructive deal, they could place this on a delay (like 100 games) so that it wouldn't wreck a person's computer for a short test deal. Slip this into a game similar to Pop Cap's catalog (like Bejeweled 2) & it would become a silent epidemic.

 

If you have a WELL KNOWN anti-virus program & firewall (something that's been checked out by PC World or PC Magazine) that are up-to-date, you shouldn't have to worry too much except the unknown. However, it doesn't protect you from your idiotic actions from the newly created viruses. There's bound to be other horror stories, but that's all I have for now.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 11.0.A : How Nintendo SHOULD handle the Boot Section
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's roughly 12:00 AM CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

In Episode 11.0, I mentioned what Nintendo SHOULD do & learn from the Homebrewers. However, Nintendo modified the boot section of the Wii with Wii Menu System 4.2 & started causing problems themselves. While Nintendo is trying to prevent the modders (& homebrewers) from hacking the Wii, but Nintendo should put in some safeguards to prevent themselves from fucking up their own product. Even the computer motherboard makers put in some safeguards when dealing with BIOS upgrades so if something bad should happen (like a power outage), there's an emergency recovery option so your little screw up doesn't turn your multi-thousand dollar baby of a computer into a goddamn large & expensive paperweight.

Here's how Nintendo SHOULD handle their boot section on the Wii. I will warn you that this does contain some programming pseudo-code, so don't go bitching to me if you can't understand this!

• System ON
• Launch Boot #0 [Read Only, Write Protected]
• Launch Boot #1 [Mostly Protected, only Checksum is modifiable]
• Do Checksum check on Boot #2
• Compare Checksum with Checksum stored in Boot #1
• Is Boot #2 Checksum OK?
  • If Yes, Launch Boot #2
  • If No, Launch Boot Recovery [Read Only, Write Protected]

Under this set-up, there's only 2 places in the Boot Sector that can be modified. Boot #2 & the checksum in Boot #1. Boot #0 & Boot Recovery are protected & cannot be modified. The main reason is that if the main boot sector (Boot #2) gets corrupted in some way, there's an emergency back-up system (Boot Recovery) to keep the system running. However, the Recovery system would be more bare bones & set up to fix (or reinstall) Boot #2 as soon as possible. If the system can't immediately do a recovery for some reason, the Recovery system should keep the system partially operational. You may not be able to do everything you want under the back-up system, but it should at least keep you from bitching out Customer Support to fix your system due to THEIR mistake.

While I don't have the exact "Technical Details" for implimentation, but it's a bare-bones idea that somebody could build on... Before any legal assholes bitch "We can't do this because you could sue us." excuse, here's a few things to consider.

First of all, this idea is a bit too general to hold water in a court of law. Second, I'm not patenting this idea because the US patent office is a bit too sluggish to capitalize on the idea & it's likely covered by some other patent (which I'm not going to bother researching). Third, if I did take any credit for this idea, I'd like use a Creative Commons "By Attribution" license so anybody can use it & charge for it (as they're doing the core work) as long as they give me credit for the work... but I wouldn't be too offended if they forget.

I'm taking a small page out of the computer's boot system. Under most computer BIOS, the order of execution is:

1. Optical Drive (CD / DVD / Blu-Ray Drive)
2. Primary Hard Drive
   • Primary OS (or Bootloader)
   • Secondary OS
   • Trimary OS, ect.
3. Secondary Hard Drive
4. External USB Storage
5. Floppy Drive

While this isn't THE EXACT boot order, as most computer BIOSes can be reordered to a personal tastes & some options may not be available due to BIOS offerings or physical limitations (as Floppy Drives have been retired for quite some time now & External USB Storage is still a bit new as an option), but it permits multiple layers of back-up options should something go wrong. By including removable storage options (optical drive, USB, floppies), should the hard drives die on you for whatever goddamn reason may be, you'll still have a way to recover some functionality of your computer without having to bitch out some outsourced Customer Service idiot. The repairs may cost more than just time (like $100-$250 for a new hard drive & possibly $200-$300 for a new copy of Windows, if you choose to use it), but you don't have to cough up a fucking lung for a brand new computer... if you don't want to.

What I propose if a bit more protected than a PC, it allows Nintendo to modify the boot sector of the Wii without all the risks of turning their game system into a brick & pissing off everybody that's affected, including the Stickenbaums. I know it won't fully prevent modders from hacking the Wii, but it can make it harder for them.

That's all I have for tonight. It's about 2:00 AM & I'm heading to bed.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 11.0 : What Nintendo SHOULD Learn from Homebrews
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's 12:45 AM CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

This episode is inspired by Nintendo releasing Wii Menu 4.2 back on Tuesday, which the homebrew community has noted is actively removing the Homebrew Channel & similar system modifications from said Wiis upon upgrading. While I am uncertain if 4.2 constantly checks & removes any unofficial code from the Wii at boot-up, but it's one fucking annoying blow to the homebrew community. At the moment, my system is comfortably running Wii Menu 4.0 & I'm not planning on upgrading to 4.2 any time soon at the moment (4.1 perhaps, but not 4.2) because I'm happy having the Homebrew Channel installed on my Wii.

While I understand Nintendo's position in taking such actions with the Wii, as the Homebrew Channel is unofficial code that COULD (but in most cases, does NOT) damage the system & allows the execution of illegal, or at least questionable, applications on the Wii. HOWEVER, in the perpetual arguement between "Official" vs "Modders", I find myself siding with modders at this point in time & that Nintendo should learn a few things so they can evolve the Wii, DSi & future systems. Before any assholes start throwing stones at me because of my position, I'm only doing so in order to find the "Happy Medium" where everybody can be happy. I'm going to break this down into a few key arguments.

Issue 1: Theme Support

This is one of the more questionable issues that homebrewers & modders have done that really hit a major nerve with Nintendo. With the program called BootMii, you can modify the boot sector of the Wii & allow you to make visual changes to the Wii Menu system as well as turn your system into a region-free deal. HOWEVER, such modifications are pretty risk as one bad modification or one ill-timed power outage can turn your Wii into a goddamn paperweight.

On this arguement, I'm forced to side with Nintendo on preventing users from modifying their system... but ONLY at the boot-level, where the risks of fucking up your system is fairly high. However, one visual theme for a system is too stiff to suit everybody. Sure, everybody has a Wii, but there's really no personality.

PC's have been enjoy the ability to customize looks since Windows 3.1! Granted that Microsoft has restricted some of the visuals down to 3 color themes (Blue, Olive Green & Silver) for their modern theme, but they still include the classic theme with all the customization anybody would like. Stardocks even allows users to customize the look of Windows to whatever their fucking twisted minds come up with through WindowBlinds. Instead of bitching about it, Microsoft applauds Stardocks efforts (to some extent) for providing such an option to those who want that level of customization... provided they're willing to cough up the $50 for the program & an extra $20 for the pro version for the skin creator.

On portables (like MP3 players), having a more uniform look & lack of customization is acceptable due to storage or display restrictions. However, game systems like the Xbox 360, PS3 & PSP allows users to customize the look of their system's menu to some extent by giving users themes. Practically every media player for computers (Macs, PC's & Linux) permit users to user a skin instead of the default look. Winamp, one of the largest known media players online, even embraces this option by dedicating a part of their site to skins that others (both corporate & artistic fans) have made to share with others.

This is something that Nintendo should give their users the option. While there will be some users who will stick with the default theme, others may enjoy a different look even if it's not exactly what they totally desire. Life isn't just one goddamn boring shade of white here.

Issue 2: Media Playback Support

This has been one major deal that homebrewers have gotten a good hand with & gotten some press by showing the hidden capabilities of the Wii. While the Wii (& DSi) have SOME media playback support, it's highly restricted that most users don't bother dealing with it. On the Wii, if you want to play music on it, you have to format your music to the .AAC audio format (essentially an MP4 audio file that's commonly used by Apple) & you can only play the music while doing a slideshow through the Photo Channel.

The first problem is that rarely anybody uses .AAC for audio! The majority of modern music listeners use .MP3 (or .WMA, for fucking Windows Media Player fanatics) for their tunes, so you're forcing people to transcode stuff to fit your requirements. Second problem is limited function since the only way you can listen to your tunes through the Wii is by going through the Photo Channel. While there is some logic working here, it's an extremely limited function that rarely anybody will take advantage of.

Sony & Microsoft have a better grasp for media playback support. Sony added relevant media support with each edition of the PlayStation as their system supported that disc media. Albeit it partially restricted, it was a step in the right direction. The PS1 only supported Audio CD's, PS2 added DVD-Video support (& included a DVD remote accessory option, sold separately) & the PS3 added Blu-Ray Video support to their gaming options. Microsoft includes this & added an additional option: Network streaming from a connected PC. Granted this support requires your to set up a LAN & use Windows Media Player for it, but it allows users to playback their music & video through their system... within the restrictions of the software. Sony added similar support with the PS3 & PSP.

Nintendo refused to do this & the homebrew community is reaping the rewards from the revolting users... with me being one of the rioting users by installing MPlayer CE on my SD card. While the interface isn't perfect (as there's plenty of room for improvement), it allows me to playback nearly any audio or video file I want. I could even pop in a video DVD into my Wii & watch it if I wanted, even although I have never actually done so. The main reason for my love story with rebelling against Nintendo on this is that I have greater freedom with the media files that I've picked up over the years. The biggest deal is that I'm doing it away from my computer (although it's still being used in part as a file server, instead of the media player) & I'm viewing the videos on my TV, where more people than one or two can enjoy it at one time.

While I will admit that the Wii isn't perfectly designed to handle all media formats thrown at it by MPlayer CE, mostly due to technical limitations, it works well enough that those who set things up will enjoy it. With the latest generation of game systems, Nintendo could choose to rectify the problem by releasing an official "Media Player Channel" application to the Wii Shopping Channel, either developed by themselves or by a 3rd party & potentially have a price tag (like 500 NP's or roughly $5) to do so. It doesn't have to outstanding quality, but if it supports the most common media formats (which should include .flv as many online sites are using it for video) & have a very user-friendly interface, people will buy it.

We know that the Wii can handle multi-media stuff as the Nintendo Channel is a prime example of this! Now if Nintendo can rectify their error by giving us a Media Player Channel that includes LAN support (even if they have to ask Microsoft for help, albeit NOT their 360 division), some people would be happier with the Wii.

If Nintendo added multimedia playback support for the DSi (instead of just the .AAC crap), I would so buy a DSi to replace my old DS Lite as the DSi would be covering more of my entertainment needs besides gaming.

Issue 3: Emulators & Game Emulation

Here's one issue that Nintendo attempted to address when they created the Wii. While they have succeeded here to a point, there are some places where they totally failed. Again, this is something that Nintendo COULD rectify if they wanted to as well.

I am aware that the Wii currently has a "Virtual Console" library that includes the NES, SNES, N64, Sega Genesis (aka MegaDrive), Turbograx-16 (aka PC Engine), Commodore 64 & Arcade games... but why stop there? They could add Atari 2600, Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance & Sega Game Gear to the library if there's interest... although the GBY/GBC/GBA & Sega Game Gear games would be better suited for the DSi instead of the Wii, but it's an idea to run with. For the games that uses the NES Zapper or the SNES mouse, there's a ready-made solution for those!

The Homebrewers have released emulators for all the systems mentioned above & more. While I prefer to play the Virtual Console version instead of using the emulators, it does show a sharp contrast between how Nintendo & the Homebrewers are handling the situation.

Nintendo seems to be handling each game in their VC library separately while the Homebrewers are trying to handle nearly every game that could be thrown at their emulator. This does bring up a few ideas that Nintendo could learn.

 

First thing is to give players a centralized "channel" for all the games of a particular system. The current VC system has each game as a separate channel. While it's OK for a few VC games of a particular system, it becomes an annoying mess when you start accumulating a large number of them. The addition of the SD channel does address the problem a bit, it's really not a major solution to the problem. What Nintendo SHOULD do is to create a multi-game launcher that can be downloaded for free that you can play all the games from a particular system from. While you'll still have pay for the games, the launcher could sit on the Wii menu while the games sit on the SD card. Then all you do is start the launcher, select the game you want to play from a list of games you have for that system & enjoy instead of digging through page after page of channels to find the game you want to play OR become a part-time librarian of your Wii by organizing your VC games a particular way, which I will most likely be forced to do when my library gets larger.

Second thing is to allow SOME games that used specialized accessories to be included & I'm NOT talking about multi-tap. The Wiimote with the IR tracking can easily work as a NES Zapper & a SNES mouse. While it would take a bit more time to incorporate such a modification, it would be an easy fix to bring games like Duck Hunt, Hogan's Alley & Wild Gunman from the NES library & Mario Paint from the SNES library to the VC offerings.

The only reason why I'm siding with the homebrewers on this issue is that they have the balls to provide an option for me to play some of the games that I love because Nintendo doesn't have the fucking guts to include them in their VC catalog... Earthbound (aka Mother) series being one major issue that can cause a schizm between Nintendo & their fans... Which brings me to the next issue.

Issue 4: Indie Games

This is one of the big issues with homebrewers. "Nintendo isn't going to make a game I want to play, so I'm going to make it myself!" While it IS a mixed bag for indie games content, it's one way for a lonely game programmer / developer / creator to turn an idea into something playable. I know that Nintendo has the WiiWare catalog where indie game developers can release a game to the public, but it costs thousands of dollars for the developement kits, outside QA testing & ESRB review before the game gets out there. The Homebrew method is nearly free.

While my heart goes out to those who are talented to release a stellar homebrew game, I regretfully have to side with Nintendo on this issue mostly for one thing: Quality Assurance. Most homebrew games that I've looked at & tried are so seriously flawed that I deleted them shortly afterwards. However those few diamonds in the homebrews (like Piero's Wiicross, which is pretty decent) are worth the effort. Most of the games that do make it into the WiiWare catalog are at least polished enough that you can understand how to play them. HOWEVER, it seems that Nintendo's QA department seems to be out to lunch a fair amount of time (likely on the dime of the game publisher) to allow any piece of shit to be crapped onto the catalog. The game may still be shit, but at least it's a polished turn.

Issue 5: Expanded Support

This is the final, but largest issue that homebrewers & Nintendo are likely fighting over. As mentioned online, it possible for Wii owners to play Wii games directly off a hard drive through the Homebrew Channel. While it's not a simple process (as it involves getting a specific USB external hard drive & reformatting it to a Wii-specific format), it does show the ingenuity of the homebrewers to make the Wii a powerhouse... even though it can be used to illegally copy Wii games.

The idea of disc-less gaming isn't anything new as the 360 included support for it with the NXE system, it does become a convient way to enjoy the games you own without the risk of wear & tear on the discs. The major downside is that it usually requires a means to prevent piracy. Microsoft uses the simple "low-tech" method of disc residency to ensure that you still have a copy of the game before it loads it up from the disc. In fact, disc residency has been around since the 1990's as a simple anti-piracy method as it uses a token-base access sytem where the game disc is the token. Granted that such a system isn't widely used due to the commercial release of CD/DVD/BluRay burners, but it's one way to curb piracy.

The homebrew method of disc-less gaming doesn't have such a system, it does show that it can be done for the Wii. Heck, even most PC gamers can go disc-less if the gamers really want to & spend the $50 for Game Jackal. Game Jackal requires the disc only long enough to create a profile to allow you to play without the disc, BUT they included a "Profile Key" system to prevent users from pirating games by swapping game profiles... which is a bit pointless really if you think about it... but I'm only using Game Jackal as an example for what could be done.

For this issue, I'm a bit undecided on due to legal reasons... but for logistics, I have to side with the homebrewers here as I like playing games without having to deal with discs (or carts for that matter) if I could. Nintendo could really make a killing by creating such an accessory for the Wii & charging $100 or so for a portable USB extra hard drive (like 100 GB or more) formatted for the Wii & include specialized software on a disc (or as a secret download, like the WiiSpeak Channel) to utilize it. To curb piracy, their software could link the disc images to the Wii Shopping Account, they'll only work on that specific Wii & use a more relaxed form of disc residency (like request a check like one a week instead of every time you want to play the game). It won't prevent players from trading games, but it'll at least prevent them from just renting a game or abuse a Gamefly subscription to copy the game discs to the hard drive & keep playing after returning the game.

If I had the funds & the patience to do so... I would seriously consider taking advantage of this option through the Homebrew Channel as it would make life a lot easier to enjoy Wii games & make the Wii's disc drive last longer.

 

Until Nintendo actually sees what things COULD be done with a console & actually learn what people really want in a game system instead of being all "Holier than Thou", "We Say So" idea... they'll still lose some market share with competitors & the homebrewers.

It's 3:09 AM & I'm heading to bed before another angry though tries to get out... so you should too.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 9.1: Wii Homebrew Guide
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's roughly 2:00 CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

With the installation of the Homebrew Channel (as noted in TDL 9.0), it's now time to pick up some apps for the Homebrew Channel! While there's various way to obtain, install & load apps, I'm taking the simple "SD Standalone" option as it's a fairly simple, but takes a little effort to do. Please be aware that if you're going to install a lot of homebrew apps (or a lot of files on hand), you'll want a large SD card that your Wii can support. For those running an older version of the Wii Menu system (pre-4.0), your Wii can only support up to 2 GB's. For those running Wii Menu 4.0 or newer, you can go up to 32 GB's. The exact size of the SD card you pick up will vary on your budget & your space needs, but it never hurts to go as large as you can afford to.

All the major homebrew apps are available at www.wiibrew.org, but I'll only go list the apps that I've actually tried. Just follow the installation instructions for each app & you won't have any major problems. For those who are totally fucking paranoid about stuff, I've included an "Operational Risk" rating, which give you an idea on how risking an app is.

• Safe = There's practically no risk of problems, you can run this without fucking up your Wii.
• Relatively Safe = There's a few potential pitfalls that could cause problems, but the most of the app is safe. Pussies are like to turn around here.
• Relatively Risky = There's a couple of pitfalls here that could brick your Wii that only the adventurous users may partake.
• Risky = There's a lot of experimental stuff here that could easily fuck up your system. Only maniacs with a crapload of cash (to replace their Wii) or developers should apply.

With that said... let's get to the apps!

1) MPlayer CE
App Type: Media Player
Operational Risk: Safe (Basic) - Relatively Safe (Expanded features)
Media files required for enjoyment
NOTE: Additional components required for maximum enjoyment... Online access for Wii strongly advised.

MPlayer CE is multimedia player that has a pretty impressive file support list. While the interface is a bit minimalistic, it does the job fairly well despite it being a read-only deal. You can access files from the SD card, any supported USB devices (requires cIOS for USB 2.0 support, see above note) & even DVD's (requires DVDX OR cIOS for support, see above note). If you have your Wii online, you can even access shared network files (via SMB), FTP, Shoutcast or even YouTube!

As noted, the controls & interface are a bit minimalistic, but it functions well enough to be enjoyable. If you really want full enjoyment, you'll need to go online to install the additional components as well as minimize the legwork if you want to play any new media files without having to pull out your Wii's SD card. The video quality is pretty good, but you'll likely run into framerate problems with high-definition video (like DVD or any H.264 videos). These performance issues are with the Wii's hardware itself & cannot be fully fixed.

I will note that if you choose to install cIOS for expanded support (for DVD & USB 2.0 support), there are some risks involved with installation. However, you shouldn't worry too much as long as you have a stable internet connection & power connection (you may want to use an uninterruptable power supply with your Wii... just to be safe) during the installation process. Offline installation is NOT SUGGESTED because it's a bit more complicated than desired for added support.

If you like to listen to music OR watch videos AWAY from your computer & on a larger screen, it's worth the download for the convience... especially if you can get the network file sharing to work.

2) FCE Ultra GX
App Type: NES Emulator
Operational Risk: Safe
NES Roms required for enjoyment

For those who enjoy the playing NES games on the Wii, but may not have access to the Wii Shopping Channel or choose not to pay for those games for whatever reason you have... you'll likely enjoy this. However, you'll need to provide your own NES games (which can be picked up from your preferred ROM site).

FCE Ultra GX's control style is surprisingly easy to get down without looking at the WiiBrew.org page. All you do is select the game you want from the ROM list, hit A & flip the Wiimote to it's horizontal orientation. When you want to tweak the video settings, controller settings (between 2 controllers, 4 controllers or Zapper mode), load/save save states OR want to quit, just hit Home on the Wiimote. The makers of FCE Ultra GX's menus run similarly to the Wii Menu that it's very easy to operate.

If you want to play a Zapper game, you'll need to switch the control style to "Zapper" mode & switch your Wiimote back to the horizontal orientation as it'll use the Wiimote's IR system aim. The crosshair on screen will show you where you're pointing, when enabled. Other than that, you use B to fire & - to change options (as you cannot shoot off-screen).

FCE Ultra GX doesn't have a perfect 100% compatiblity rating, but all but ONE game I've played on it worked perfectly. The one game that I'm writing off is more of a graphical issue that makes it practically unplayable (unless you like seizure inducing flashes through the entire game). The only other tweak I had to do was adjust the video to better suit my TV (which you'll have to do yourself), but it's one thing you won't have to change unless you change TV's.

For NES lovers on a tight budget, this is a must-grab app!

3) SNES9X GX
App Type: SNES Emulator
Operational Risk: Safe
SNES Roms required for enjoyment

From the maker of FCE Ultra GX comes THE SNES emulator for the Wii. SNES9X GX has the same game support & interface as FCE Ultra GX, but you now get to play the SNES games instead of NES.

Unless you're going into Super Score, Mouse, or Justifier mode (which uses JUST the Wiimote), you'll most likely want the Wii Classic Controller OR a Gamecube Controller for maximum enjoyment as they carry a more proper button layout. HOWEVER, you can customize the controls if you want.

As with FCE Ultra, SNES9X GX doesn't have a perfect 100% compatibility of all games. There's only a few games that SNES9X GX failed to run. The one uses the FX chip technology & the other game requires extra software that the emulator does not seem to support. Video settings, as usual, will need to be tweaked for maximum enjoyment.

If you're a SNES lover... this would be a no-brainer! Just remember that you'll have to provide your own SNES ROMS (which can be picked up from your preferred ROM site).

4) Visual Boy Advance GX
App Type: SNES Emulator
Operational Risk: Safe
GBY/GBC/GBA Roms required for enjoyment

Again, from the maker of FCE Ultra GX & SNES9X GX comes the another masterpiece of homebrew applications! Visual Boy Advance GX (aka VBA GX) is the emulator for the old portable Nintendo systems. It supports Gameboy (GB / GBY), Gameboy Color (GBC) & Gameboy Advance (GBA) roms... just like a Gameboy Advance system does (except for the GBA Micro)!

For GBY & GBC games, you can get by with just the Wiimote (as they use the NES controls). However, you'll likely want a Gamecube Controller OR the Wii Classic Controller for the GBA games as they have a few extra buttons that they have & are placed in more natural configurations. The only problem I had with VBA GX was that the video was oversized at 100%, causing me to miss some details on my TV. A quick scale-down to 90% in the video settings fixed this. HOWEVER, screen configuration is subject to your actual TV.

If you like the NES or SNES emulators & enjoy the portable games, it's only natural to pick this up. Just remember that you'll have to provide your own GBY/GBC/GBA ROMS (which can be picked up from your preferred ROM site).

5) Hu-Go! GX
App Type: Turbograx-16 / PC Engine Emulator
Operational Risk: Safe
TG-16 / PCE Roms required for enjoyment -- TG-16 CD games require extra work

Hu-Go GX is an emulator for Turbograx-16 (aka PC Engine elsewhere). While the Turbograx-16 wasn't that popular in the US, it has some relative success in Japan & elsewhere. It can be played with just the Wiimote, but you can use other controller options as well.

Hu-Go GX is OK, but there's a few issues I've ran into. First of all, there's minimal documentation for it. Therefore, you need to be a little adventerous to figure how to run it & enjoy it. Second, TG-16 CD games require more work (& space) than most standard TG-16 games. Again, since there's practically no documentation on how to get them to work... you're on your own. Finally, the natural file-save system (that's normally used with the games) doesn't seem to work. This tends to drag down the enjoyment of Hu-Go GX as it forces you to start all over again for the games that support save files.

If you're a game enthusist, you'll likely give it a spin... otherwise, you'll likely skip this.

6) Genesis Plus GX
App Type: Sega Genesis / MegaDrive Emulator
Operational Risk: Safe
GEN/MD Roms required for enjoyment

Genesis Plus GX is an emulator for the Sega Genesis (aka MegaDrive outside the US). The Sega Genesis was the major competitor with the Super NES during the 16-bit gaming era & contains some hits. It can be played with just the Wiimote, but other controller options are available as well.

The interface for Genesis Plus GX isn't as user-friendly compared to the Nintendo-system emulators, but it works OK. It works, but there is some room for improvement with this emulator. On the upside, Genesis Plus GX includes Game Genie support natively.

If you were a Sega Genesis fan, you'll likely enjoy this.

7) Wii 2600
App Type: Atari 2600 Emulator
Operational Risk: Safe
Atari 2600 Roms required for enjoyment

Wii 2600 is the second Atari 2600 emulator that I found every enjoyable. While it's actually the second Atari 2600 emulator I tried, Stella Wii just wasn't as user-friendly as Wii 2600 despite the fact that both emulators use the same core.

Wii 2600 does have a Wii-related configuration screen so you can make changes for games that utilizes the paddle controller (like Breakout) instead of the standard controller. Once you hit "Start" on the emulator, it'll boot up the Stella core. Pretty much all you'll need is the Wiimote for everything, but you can use other controller configurations (like the Gamecube controller).

While you won't be able to play games that require the datapad controller (there are a few that use it) since it's not supported by controllers (you may be able to handle it through a USB keyboard), you should be able to enjoy the majority of games from the Atari 2600 library.

8) Piero's Wiicross
App Type: Picross Game

Operational Risk: Safe

Piero's Wiicross is a fairly simple Picross game that you use the Wiimote either in the vertical (with IR) or horizontal (without IR, my preference) orientation or other control styles to play the game. It's a fairly simple game that has you complete picross (aka nonograms) as fast as you can.

It may not be something that everbody will enjoy, but I find it as an interesting puzzle choice to blow a few minutes on.

 

That's all I have for now. It's 3:15 AM & I'm heading to bed.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 9.0: Hack Your Wii (or Do What NintenDON'T)
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's Midnight CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

I've recently committed the "cardinal system sin" of modifying (or hacking) my Wii after the warranty expired by installing the Homebrew Channel on my own Wii. While I will admit to being tempted with the offerings that modding my Wii, but I held off until the warranty expired & the install method was easier. Now that I've done it, I'm a bit happier with my Wii.

With the new hacking methods & user-friendlier installers, it's easier to modify your Wii. You can get the Homebrew Channel installed & running on your Wii in as little as 10 minutes. You will need an SD card (up to 2 GB's, Wii 4.x users can use SDHC up to 32 GB's), an SD card reader for your computer & an internet connection. You can get a 2 GB SD card for $10 & an SD card reader for about $15, if you don't have these already. Otherwise, you're ready for the 4 simple steps:

MOD WARNING: While the Homebrew Channel is consider "Unlicensed, Unauthorized Software" by Nintendo. Please be aware that by installing the Homebrew Channel, you will be voiding your warrant on your Wii & violating the AUP. Nintendo may disable or silently uninstall the Homebrew Channel from your Wii OR do other stuff with future updates... YOU ARE INSTALLING THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! THEREFORE, I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY FUCKING INCIDENTS THAT CAUSES YOUR WII TO TURN INTO A $300 BRICK AS YOU'RE THE ONE DOING IT TO YOUR OWN WII!

STEP 1: Download the Installers

This is a 2-part deal, but it's easy. The Homebrew Channel site (HBC.HackMii.com) will give you some of the instructions, but there's pretty much two places to go. First is the BannerBomb Exploit site (bannerbomb.qoid.us) The BannerBomb files exploit part of the Wii Menu system that causes the Wii Menu to crash & allow other code to run. File "aad1f_v108.zip" is the one that works for most people & should be the one you grab. In the event that it doesn't work, you'll have to pick up another file from the site & try again.

Second is the HackMii installer from www.bootmii.org/download. There's only one version here which contains what you need (& then some) with it.

STEP 2: Prepare the SD card

This part will take a little work, but it's fairly simple. If you already have an SD card you're using in your Wii, you'll want to back up your entire SD card onto your computer for safekeeping. If you're using a new SD card, it should be empty. The SD card should be in FAT/32 format, depending on what version of the Wii menu you're running. If you're running an older Menu version (pre-4.0), you can only use a 2 GB SD card in FAT format. If you're running 4.x & have an SD card larger than 2 GB's, you can only use FAT32 format. If you can't figure out what the fuck I'm talking about... don't bitch at me as your computer will usually give you the preferred format to work with it.

Once you can see your SD card on your computer, open it up, back up any files you want to keep on your computer & wipe your SD card. Now that your SD card is empty, it's time to place the installers on the SD card! Open up the root-level of the SD card (it should be something like "X:\", but replace X with the appropiate drive letter. If you're running Linux, good luck figuring this out!).

Open up the Bannerbomb installer zip file & drop the contents of it onto your SD card. It should be named "private". Next, open up the HackMii installer zip file & copy the "boot.elf" file onto your SD card.

Before you close the window to your SD card, there should be two items listed:

• X:\private\
• X:\boot.elf

If there's anything else, delete it. Otherwise, close the window & remove your SD card.

 

STEP 3: Installing the Homebrew Channel

Once you have the SD card installed in your Wii, turn it on & head to the Wii Options Menu. DO NOT ACCESS THE "SD CHANNEL"! It won't do anything except to prove that you're a goddamn idiot for doing so. Once in the Wii Options Menu, select "Data Management" & then "Channels". In the Channels section, click on the "SD Card" tab.

You'll be prompted to "Load boot.dol/elf?". Just hit "Yes" to get started with the installation. You'll get a black screen with white text that's an anti-scam warning. If you don't get this, go back to step 1, pick up a different version of bannerbomb & try again.

After you press 1 on your Wiimote (once that prompt appears), you'll get some "test results" about the three items that you can install here: The Homebrew Channel, DVDX & BootMii. If there's something that isn't noted as "Can be installed", you won't be able to install it. Just hit A to proceed into the main installer menu. Just push up & down to navigate & A to select an item. Please be aware that you'll have to confirm anything you want to install (or uninstall)

You'll want to install The Homebrew Channel as that's the main reason why you're going through all of this crap. DVDX is an optional item, but I suggest installing it as well since a fair number of homebrew apps can use it's support. BootMii is totally optional, if your Wii will allow you to install it. HOWEVER, BootMii carries some risk of bricking your Wii as it tampers with your the Boot System of your Wii, so you can make your Wii a bit more "international" as well as modify the look. While it can be relatively safe, one ill-timed power outage can turn your precious Wii into a fucking brick. I can't stop you from actually installing & using it, but it's something I'm not willing to risk.

Once everything you want is installed, hit "Exit".

STEP 4: Enjoy the Homebrew Channel!

When you hit "Exit", the installer will load up the Homebrew Channel itself. Since your SD card is empty, you won't have any Homebrew apps listed here. Just hit Home on your Wiimote & select "Return Home" (& confirm) to take you back to the Wii Menu.

Once you shut off your Wii, you can remove the SD card & restore everything you had on it. If you have your Wii online, you can pick up updates to the Homebrew Channel as well as pick up apps directly through the Homebrew Channel. Otherwise, you can download the homebrew apps from www.WiiBrew.org & install the homebrew apps onto your SD card manually.

That's all for this episode of Too Damn Late. It's roughly 2:00 AM CDT & I'm taking a minor break before moving onward.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 8.0: Your personal web server in 4 steps
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's 12:41 AM CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

This episode of TDL was inspired by the temporary outage of G-mail & a bit of "wishful thinking" of Ms. Olivia Munn (of AOTS) about starting up her own e-mail service. While it's not fucking rocket science, it does require some technical knowledge to set up your own personal web server WITH e-mail service. Anybody can do it about 4 relatively easy steps.

STEP 1: Check with your ISP & your TOS/AUP FIRST!

You're probably wondering, "Why would I have to check with my goddamn ISP about hosting my own web server? I'm playing for my connection, I can to whatever the fuck I want!" It's that attitude that'll either get your ISP pissed off at you for violating their Terms Of Service (TOS) or the Acceptable Usage Policy (AUP), kicked off & banned from their services, or find a big ass "Fuck you" in the form of a $100+ or even a $1,000+ bill in bandwidth overages.

Usually written in the TOS or AUP for personal, most residential connections FORBIDS you from hosting your own server for ANYTHING. While you can get away with file transfers to friends & some P2P stuff, it forbids you from hosting any type of server, be it temporary (like hosting an online game server) or permament (web server) on your connection. It doesn't prevent you from playing online games, it just means you can't serve as host. There's practically two reasons for this.

1) Limited transmission bandwidth between users & your server

Some low-end ("bargain basement") residental connections are only 128 KBps down & 96 KBps up... Usually 256 KBps down & 128 KBps up. Your upstream becomes your user's downstream. So if only have like 3 users accessing your would-be server on top of your normal activities, they would only be able to utilize 36 KBps on average.

If you're serving a small community of say... 30 users at one time, your 128 KBps would get broken down to an average of 4.25 KBps... or about the average speed for internet users... BACK IN 1996!

2) Added strain on usage limits

Usage limits & HOW they track internet usage will vary between ISP's, but those who combine BOTH up & downstream usage... this can cause some problems, especially with those "bargain basement" connections!

Again, if you're using a "bargain basement" connection, you're probably not planning on using the internet that much & would likely have a usage limit of say 10 GB's. Let's say your server has rougly a 75% connection load 24/7 for a month. That 96 KBps (= 128 KBps * 0.75) * 60 sec/min * 60 min/hr * 24 hr/day * 30 days/mo = 248,832,000 KB or 248.832 GB's a month! That's an overage of 239 GB's (as ISP's will round up to the next GB)! At the rate of $1 per GB over... Your Internet bill that would normally be $30 / mo. balloons into roughly $270! Talk about a nice "Screw You" from your ISP here!

 

Considering these issues & the "fine print", you'll likely need to discuss with your ISP on how to handle your server "request". Some may charge you an extra $5/mo. for this variance in their policy to cover the server's load while others will force you to convert your connection into a "Commercial" connection that allows servers & have the extra bandwidth to better handle servers. Any way you consider, you'll be paying a premium for the right to host a server.

STEP 2: Connect a computer to be your DEDICATED server

Once you get things settled with your ISP, you'll need a computer to serve as your personal web server. While practically any computer with decent computer specs will work. Any computer than can handle Vista or Windows 7 SHOULD be able to handle web serving stuff. However, DO NOT ATTEPT TO USE THE COMPUTER THAT YOU USE ON A DAILY BASIS!!! Unless you're willing to put up with performance drops that'll occur when you have multiple users (including the fucking spam bots) accessing your server, it's just better for your sanity to keep a separate computer for this.

Once you have this computer connected to your network, you'll need to find the LAN IP address (it'll be like 192.168.*.* deal). Just go to Start -> Run & enter "CMD" in the prompt in XP to pull up a DOS prompt. In Vista, hit Start & enter "CMD" in the search field & hit enter. Once you're in the DOS prompt, enter "ipconfig" & it'll give you 3 items, one of them will be your LAN IP address (as it'll be something like 192.168.1.102 or something similar). Jot it down as you'll need it later. Now enter "exit" in the DOS prompt to close it.

Next access your router & look for the "Port Forwarding" option. Once there, enter the LAN IP address for the following ports:

• Port 80 -- Website Server port
• Port 3306 -- MySQL Server port
• Port 23 -- FTP Server port
• Port 25 -- E-mail (POP3) Server port

These are the ports that most website servers use. The "Port Forwarding" option will redirect all requests from others to the proper computer this way.

STEP 3: Install AND COMFIGURE your Website server program

How it's time for the big step! While there's plenty of Website server suites out there, I prefer to go with Apache Friend's XAMPP for your "Master Server" program as it contains pretty much everything you'll need to have a fully functioning webserver.

1) Website Server -- Apache

Apache is a base program as it'll server all your basic needs for website services. It's works without problems as it has php included for the advanced web language... nuff said.

2) Database Server -- MySQL

Unless you want a very static website, where you have to update things manually, you'll need some type of database to store data for dynamic websites. The database server is MySQL as it's fairly free, open source & used by a LOT of websites. While it can be intimidating to manage at the server level, all you really need to know is how to create a blank database for other items (like phpBB) can use.

3) FTP Server -- FileZilla

NOTE: FileZilla MUST run as a network service on the computer to operate!

If you want access stuff on your web server OR give access to others (like friends) for some reason (like hosting a large file your friends want), you'll want an FTP server on hand. While it'll take some time to set up the user accounts, you'll need to do it so you can keep your friends (or unwanted users) from fucking up your website or the computer (for really malicious assholes).

PLEASE NOTE that an FTP server is TOTALLY OPTIONAL as you can completely run your website without having an FTP server & those who are totally paranoid about security will want to pass on this. FTP services are convient for those who don't have physical access to the server, but it can be one way to totally fuck up your computer if you didn't configure it properly & some asshole starts toying around with everything on your computer (by giving them unrestricted access to your C drive).

4) E-mail Server -- Mercury

Mercury is the e-mail server included with XAMPP & primarily configured for POP3 services, which allows your website server to hold the e-mails for the user until they pick them up. If you want to do IMAP services (which allows syncronization between multiple devices), you'll have to read up about it.

Anyway, Mercury allows you to send & receive e-mails through it. Just set up the accounts you'll want & it'll handle it. Right now, you don't have a specific domain name yet... but don't worry about that now as Mercury will roll with the punches.

STEP 4: Pick-up or Buy & Configure your Domain Name

This is the FINAL STEP here as it's what people will enter to access your web server. If you really want to, you could spend the $30 / yr with a DNS server (like Register.com or Go Daddy) for a professional domain name like "www.MyPersonalServer.com" to use with your web server. HOWEVER, for those who aren't willing to spend the big bucks for professional domain name, you could settle for a less professional domain by using DYNDNS.org's redirecting services. With DynDNS, your domain name will be more like "MyServer.dyndns.org" or one of their 30+ domain names to go with. DynDNS provides this redirecting services for FREE as an alternative to providing others with your actual IP address (from your ISP).

If you have a dynamic IP address (one that periodically changes, common with residental connections), you'll most likely will need to use DynDNS's services as they have a utility program that will help keep your site address directed to your web server. I can't be certain if they charge you if you provide your own domain name, but you can check that out at www.dyndns.org.

Commercial Connections usually have a static IP address (one that stays the same all the time... assuming you keep your ISP happy with money) & therefore should not need to use DynDNS's dynamic IP updater.

 

There you go! You now have your own web server to do whatever the fuck you want with it... as long as it complies with the law & any restrictions your ISP enforces. Once you take care of your ISP, you should have everything ready to go in about an hour or less (depending on your connection speed). While you should have the basics (like an anti-virus program & a firewall, just to keep hackers, assholes & idiots) to prevent any major fuck-ups that could hurt other computers (as some viruses like to spread through networks) on your network, that should be it.

Do as you please with it... just don't go crying to me if you can't figure out how to do something with your server. This is a totally DIY deal! I can't tell how to do every goddamn thing with your webserver & I have no idea (nor the patience) to turn it into the next Facebook, MySpace or YouTube! That's for you to figure out & how to profit from it!

That's all I have for now... It's 2:27 AM CDT & I'm off to bed.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 7.0: Freeloader's Guide to Computing
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's Midnight CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

Note: This episode of Too Damn Late contains some useful material & therefore will naturally contain generally less swearing & objectionable material tha normal.

For some reason, I'm just having a streak of calmness here... but this will likely be the last one of these for a while, so DON'T get use to this. Anyways, with episode to make XP look like Vista or Windows 7 & another to tweak XP to work a bit better for you, this episode finishes up the trifecta with software you can pick up to be productive with your computer. I'm avoiding all the anti-productivity software (games) for now as there's just way too many places to find those. I'm also skipping some of the biggest name software like Mozilla Firefox & Thunderbird as practically everybody have heard of them.

AVG Anti-virus
Type: Anti-virus program
free.avg.com

I know it's a bit cliche, but a good anti-virus program can keep you from pull your hair out. AVG is one of the few anti-virus programs that don't carry an annual subscription fee (which can run between $30 - $50 / year), which makes it good for freeloaders. While the makers of AVG will try & push it's fully commercial version, they offer their basic version for free.

I prefer AVG compared to other anti-virus programs like Avast or ClamWin Anti-Virus as it has the most common automated features that users of the commercial anti-virus programs depend on without all the strings. AVG is the one anti-virus programs that had plays well with others. Just as long as you make sure that you keep the program core up to date, you shouldn't have any problems.

Open Office
Type: Office Suite
www.openoffice.org

This is one of the more known free programs that some people still haven't heard of, or at least knowledge of Open Office gets drowned out by the commercial programs like Microsoft Office. In fact, most people can't describe Open Office without mentioning MS Office as they're practically the same thing. The only difference is the programming license & cost (It's FREE).

As the name states, Open Office is an open-source office suite. It contains all the major programs that you'll use in an office suite, but different (more generic) names. If you've used Microsoft Office products (Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Publisher & Access), you'll have practically no problems transition into Open Office. Even though Open Office prefers to store documents in the Open Document format, but Open Office allows you to work with Microsoft Office formats. The one big feature that Open Office has is that you can export any office document into an PDF file. You have to pay $50 to get this feature in MS Office (though an add-on).

The big reason I'm pushing Open Office is that it's a great product that many people can use WITHOUT coughing up the hundreds of dollars for it OR resort to pirating MS Office. Some of the finer features may take a little more time to locate in Open Office, but most users won't have problems switching.

GIMP
Type: Image Editor
www.GIMP.org

Another widely known program living in the shadow of another commercial program. It's also consider the "Poor Man's Photoshop" by some internet users, but it's a pretty accurate representation of GIMP. GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program) is an open-source alternative to Adobe Photoshop. It contains practically all the powers & features of Photoshop, but with out the cost, support or user-friendliness.

GIMP handles practically EVERY IMAGE FORMAT you can throw at it without problems.

Paint.net
Type: Image Editor
www.getpaint.net

For those who may find GIMP a bit too intimidating, Paint.net may fit you better. It's not as powerful, but it's user-friendlier by comparison. Not as many features, but it still has the ones that you'll most likely use when editing (or creating) images.

7-Zip
Type: File Archiver
www.7-zip.org

7-Zip is a relatively obscurred file archiver that gets lost amongst the commercial varieties like WinZip, WinRAR & Stuff-It. 7-Zip is a simple, but powerful file archiver that allows you to "zip" & "unzip" archived files. While it only allows you to make Zip, Tar or 7z files, it can open up nearly all formats (except Sit & Sit-X files, which is a heavily proprietary format).

One nice feature with 7-Zip that it can compress zip files a bit better than other programs (about a 7% advantage). However, it's compressing power really shines with it's own 7z format, compressing around 70% MORE than in zip format. This means that if a ZIP file takes 10 MB's with 7-Zip, the 7Z file will only take 6 MB's. The downside with 7-Zip is that it may not be as user-friendly compared to the commercial programs, but all these programs seem to work the same.

TrueCrypt
Type: File Encryption
www.truecrypt.org

Need to keep something a secret on your computer? TrueCrypt is one program to help protect those sensitive secret files. While it's not the user-friendiest program available, it's an extremely powerful program. TrueCrypt allows you to create a secret container to hide all your secrets in OR you can encrypt an entire hard drive. HOW you use it it up to you, but can be assured that your secrets will be safe with TrueCrypt... as long as you don't leak your passwords & secret container locations to others.

Notepad++
Type: Text Editor, Notepad Replacement
notepad-plus.sourceforge.net

Notepad++ is an open-source text editor that's stuffed with features & options that you'll use it instead of boring old Notepad. While it's more geared towards programmers, as it supports various programing languages, it's still a very good program for just writing text documents. The main feature is the plugin system that allows you to expand it's capabilities, like adding ASpell (spell checker).

I like it very so much that it's become my standard text editor with the spell checker & have the 80-character margin (for writing guides). In fact, I'm using it to write this episode!

Stickies
Type: Digital Post-it Note Program
www.zhornsoftware.co.uk

Stickies is the digital alternative to plastering your monitor with with actual stickies. It might be an exchange from one visual problem for another, but I find it's a lot easier to keep track of all your stickies (& harder to accidently lose them) using this program as it includes an organizer.

Mozilla SeaMonkey
Type: Internet Suite
www.mozilla.com

Mozilla SeaMonkey is kind of the "Forgotten Love Child" of Firefox & Thunderbird. As the figurative imagery goes, Mozilla SeaMonkey combines the browser engine of Firefox with the e-mail capabilities of Thunderbird into an all-in-one internet suite.

While the look of SeaMonkey hasn't evolved (it has the look of Netscape Navigator 4.0 from 1999 for "Classic" & Netscape Navigator 6.0 from 2000/2001 for "Modern"), you can pick up different themes to update it's look. While I prefer to keep my browser & e-mail separate, there's likely some people who will prefer the combo. If a former Netscape user (as that browser died officially in February, 2009) will find this a fairly easy fit, but there's a niche that'll this lesser known program.

Pidgin
Type: Multi-IM Program
www.pidgin.im

Pidgin, formerly known as GAIM, is an open-source variation to some of the multi-IM program out there. While Trillian is a fair alternative, they want you to spend $20 / yr for their "Pro services" & they don't seem to update things as quickly. Pidgin supports all the major IM networks (AIM, ICQ, MSN, YIM & IRC), but it includes lesser known IM networks (including MySpace & XMPP, aka Jabber) natively. Since it's open-source, others developers can add extra networks like X-Fire, Twitter & even Facebook.

One major feature that I've come to love is the tabbed IM windows. Instead of juggling multiple IM windows, all your IM's are placed in different tabs in one IM window. The name of the person (or chat room, if you're in one) will change colors to tell you what's going on, but usually the tab in blue is the conversation that you need to pay attention to. This may take a little time to get use to, but just like tabbed browsing, you'll be surprised how you lived with out it.

Meebo
Type: Multi-IM SERVICE
www.meebo.com
NOTE: This is NOT a download!

As an alternative to Pidgin (& other IM programs), you can use a multi-IM WEB service like Meebo. Meebo allows you to connect to the major IM networks through their site & use it just like an IM program. However, all conversations are contained to that page, so tabbed browsing is a MUST here! While registration is preferred for those who'll frequently use their services (as it'll store your login information), it's completely optional as they'll allow you to connect to the IM networks you use without registering. HOWEVER, you'll have to enter your login information for each IM network.

For those who may be conserned about privacy & safety, Meebo uses a 1024-bit encryption system with critical data (like your login details) between each IM network. Since all your buddy lists are stored on the IM network's servers, you'll have access to all your friends through Meebo. It's bit a bare-bones service as you can only do IM's & Chat (no file transfers or other advanced services), but it's completely free & a great way to keep in touch without all the software.

Stellarium
Type: Star Gazing Simulator
www.stellarium.org

This is program is for the stargazers out there. This program allows you to simulate the ideal visual conditions of the night skies at any particular point in time (Yes, you could go back to the night of Jesus's birth... if you're religous Christian). You can see where the stars are going to be located when you go out. This program may be more useful on a laptop (including netbooks... their processing power can overcome their graphical shortfalls), but if you like look up from time-to-time.

MediaCoder
Type: Media Transcoding Utility
mediacoder.sourceforge.net

MediaCoder is a program that helps you convert a media file that your preferred media player may not support into a format that should work. Again, it's not a user-friendly program as it's can get highly technical. However, the program extensions make it A LOT EASIER to handle configurations & ensure that the converted format will work. Just be aware that conversions can be a processor intensive, especially with video, so make sure you give it plenty of time to process things.

While it may not be a program that you'll heavily use, but if you download videos from YouTube for offline viewing OR to place on your preferred portable media player (iPod, Zune, PSP, ect.), you'll be grateful to have such a problem on hand.

VLC Media Player
Type: Multi-media Player
www.videolan.org/vlc

The FINAL program for this episode is my preferred media player. VLC Media Player (originally called "Video LAN Client Media Player") or just "VLC", is an open-source media player giant that you've probably never heard of. You can throw practically any media format at it (including your porn collection) & VLC will play it with. VLC even contains it's own DVD codec (granted it's an open-source codec, but it works), so you can watch DVD's with it. Other media players (like Windows Media Player) usually charge you $30 for this feature, if your computer maker didn't take of this for you (& slapped the cost into the price tag).

VLC even supports streaming media & can even do some transcoding as well! While the program not perfectly user-friendly & the interface is a little bland, but you can customize the interface & even use a skin to make it look better. It's one of the most dependable media players that I've used.

 

That's all I have for tonight... I may write more if I feel like it.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 6.1: MORE XP Tweakage!
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's roughly 2:00 AM CDT & I'm still a bit active tonight to write a little more!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

Note: This episode of Too Damn Late contains some useful material & therefore will naturally contain generally less swearing & objectionable material tha normal.

As with Episode 6.0, I mentioned how to make Windows XP look & act more closely to Windows 7. This episode is more geared towards the other crap that I use on my computer to make my life a bit easier. While some of the stuff is pretty safe, some the stuff have some pitfalls that could cause some problems if you're not careful. I'll note the pitfalls you should be aware of, but otherwise you should be OK.

With that said... onwards to my utility crap!

RocketDock
Type: Launcher
www.rocketdock.com
CAUTION: Do-It-Yourself Deal!

RocketDock is pretty much the utility that is my pride & joy that allowed me to officially retire my old (& no longer supported) launcher Dragstrip. RocketDock is a launcher that looks & act similarly to Mac OS X's launch bar. It's a very expansive program that allows you to quickly boot up programs or access folders that you frequently access.

The main reason why I love RocketDock is that it's expansive, highly customizable & extremely easy to use. Just to prove how easy a properly configured RocketDock is to use, I've set it up for my aunt who has a computer literacy of about a pre-teen. In 2 clicks, she can load up the programs she most frequently use without having to dig through the start menu. My own mother, who occasionally uses my own computer, enjoys the convience of RocketDock.

I must caution those who may consider picking this up that adding additional features (like dockets) is a DIY deal. It takes some technical expertise to install them (if you can follow the instructions of the "Read Me" file should be OK with the well documented ones). If you use the Stacks Docket, you'll need to create a folder to hold your program shortcuts in groups prior to adding it to RocketDock.

For those who aren't as adventurous, you may want to give ObjectDock by StarDocks as their basic version is free (Pro version is $20). ObjectDock works just like RocketDock, but you have more support assistance for you idiots out there. There's two reasons why I don't use ObjectDock.

1) RocketDock uses less RAM than ObjectDock -- The most I've ever seen RocketDock use 32 MB's of RAM at the most. ObjectDock uses at least 128 MB's of RAM. I could be running RocketDock 4 times on my computer as is just to get goddamn memory hog that ObjectDock running ONCE!

2) RocketDock is FREE -- RocketDock is provided to the public for FREE without any restrictions. StarDocks wants $20 from you if you want to use everything it has to offer & I will admit to being a digital freeloader, when permitted.

CCleaner
Type: System Cleaning Utility
www.CCleaner.com

This utility has gained some fame amongst the geeks & techies. Originally called "Crap Cleaner", CCleaner allows you to clean out the crap that tends to build up on your hard drive -- mostly all those temporary files that some of your programs make & later mostly forget about them afterwards. You can be surprised how much crap can pile up on your hard drive when you run CCleaner the first time. I've managed to reclaim over 1 GB of HD space on a family member's computer. You can even clean some of the crap out of your registry, if you want.

I will note that usage of CCleaner can cause some inconviences, mostly with browsers (as it can shred cookies). However, it's very simple to use & you can uncheck stuff that you want to keep (like your cookies). The registry cleaner feature could cause some problems if it accidentally marks some that shouldn't be touch, but it's pretty good with only tagging stuff that's safe to delete. However, I always suggest taking the option of making the back-up file... just in case.

Eusing Free Registry Cleaner
Type: Registry Cleaning Utility
www.eusing.com

Eusing Free Registry Cleaner does a bit better job at finding & cleaning your computer's registry of errors & leftover garbage left from uninstalling a program. While this program does a good job at tagging the "safe changes" to your registry, there is a little risk of causing some problems to your computer. Therefore, I strongly advise to enable the "Create a System Restore Point before Repair" option prior to use. This way, you have a safety net to undo things if the cleaning fucks things up.

Using Eusing Free Registry Cleaner can help increase your computer's speed, making it run a little smoother as it doesn't have the crap gumming up registry accesses.

nCleaner
Type: Multi-Cleaning & System Tweaking Utility
www.nkprods.com
WARNING: POTENTIAL FOR IRREPARABLE MODIFICATIONS!

nCleaner is another program that's a major powertool compared to the other utility programs. It allows you to clean out all the junk files from your systems, clean your registry, scrub your free space (making deleted files unrecoverable) & even tweak your system. It's a pretty powerful tool.

The main reason for the warning is that nCleaner DOES NOT CARRY THE SAFEGUARDS that the other programs carry. So nCleaner won't ask you to make a back-up file (or a restore point), making it a bastard IF the stuff it cleans out causes problems. The big interest for this utility is the system tweaking as it can make your system a bit more secure, run a little smoother & have a few less hassles... however, it's a bit techie, so you may want to get some assistance with setting up the tweaks if you're unfamiliar with the options.

Recuva
Type: File UNDELETION Utility
www.recuva.com

Recuva (pronouced "Re/COO/va"... or do your Arnold impression with the word "Recover" to get the pronounciation) is for those who may accidentally delete a file. It scans your hard drive(s) lists all the files you may be looking to recover within your defined parameters OR you can do a wide-range scan if you can't remember where the file was located.

Recuva works best when you try to recover a deleted file as soon as you deleted the file as the longer the file was deleted, the lower the chance of recovering a file as it could have been overwritten by another file. While it's not a program that you'll use frequently, you'll be thankful you have such a program when you need to undo a file deletion.

Defraggler
Type: File Defragging Utility
www.defraggler.com

Defraggler is a 3rd party file defragger that does a more through job of defragging than Microsoft's File defragging utility in my experience. It shows you exactly how many files are fragmented, how many fragments there are & what files are fragmented.

You can configure it to automate WHEN to defrag your hard drive(s), but you'll need to make sure that you can leave your computer on & undisturbed to do this.

Auslogic Registry Defragger
Type: Registry Defragmentation Utility
www.auslogics.com
Cost: $20

Registry Defragger is similar to a File Defragger, but it works explicitly with the registry ONLY. The program scans your registry & see if everything is the right order & needed first to see if it needs defragging. Once it determines if your registry needs defragging, it'll do on your next boot. While occasional defragging will only net you like a 2% improvement in speed, the first time you to is will like improve your system's performance considerably (around 10%).

Please be aware that this is COMMERCIAL SOFTWARE & it only carries a 15-day trial... so you may delete it after you defrag your registry if you don't choose to cough up the $20.

 

That's all I have for now... It's 3:00 AM CDT & I'm heading to bed.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 6.0: Turning XP into Windows 7 WITHOUT the cost!
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's Midnight CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

Note: This episode of Too Damn Late contains some useful material & therefore will naturally contain generally less swearing & objectionable material tha normal.

I've been reading up on Windows 7 & some of it's features. I've also read PC World's article on how to get some Window 7's features without actually dealing with the hassles of upgrading (see Aug., 2009 issue). While the PC World article gives a lot of information, some of things listed there isn't really consider "perfectly safe". What I mean by "perfectly safe" is the programs or modifications done to your computer can be easily undone WITHOUT having to do a system restore (which only gives you a temporary method of undoing stuff) OR reinstalling Windows altogether. I'm not that quiet adventurous since I have a running history of crashing every system (& every OS) I manage to touch (except for Unix... may be user friendly as a rock, but it's as solid one as well). Therefore, everything that I note here has been tested by myself & I'll note any issues or frustrations I had as well.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Before you attempt any major modifications to your PC, make sure that your computer is fairly stable & you're happy with it's operation. If you have a cheap, under-equipped, misconfigured or otherwise a crappy computer... YOU SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT MANY OF THESE MODIFICATIONS as your computer will likely be worse for wear as a result. Netbooks should avoid doing this as they can drive most users (especially power users, like myself) to go into a bitchfest just with their excessively long boot-up times. While my computer is only running at 800 Mhz & over 10 years old (yes, it a goddamn prehistoric system by today's standards), but it's fairly well equipped & was excellently configured that it can handle programs that require 1.2 Ghz processing power with little issue.

With that said, let's start with the modifications!

WindowBlinds
Mod Type: Windows Skinning
www.stardocks.com
Cost: $50

The first thing I have to note is the ONLY ITEM that you'll have to pay for, but it's well worth the cost. WindowBlinds allows you to change the look of Windows, but not the main functions... so everything will still work like Windows XP (or Vista), but you can make it look like a different system like Vista, Windows 7 or even look like a Mac if you really want.

I know it's nothing more but eye candy, but it's the first thing to get your computer to look like Windows 7... if you choose to select a Windows 7-like skin. You can pick up additional skins from various sites like WinCustomize ( http://www.wincustomize.com ) or Deviant Art ( http://www.deviantart.com ) for new skins. I will note that the WinCustomize site only allows you to download 50 MB's before they force you to register. Just go to BugMeNot.com to find an open account to bypass this, if you can find a working account. OTHERWISE, stick to Deviant Art as they're more flexible with guests, but you'll likely have to suffer through ads a bit more.

There are two complaints / issues that I have with WindowBlinds. First, the quality of the skins can greatly vary with skin creators. Skins that look great in the preview picture may not work as well once you try them out, mostly due to a lack of quality assurance work done by the creator. The second is that some parts of the skins tend to have a minor malfunction after a while. The malfunction is more deal with transparency aspects & I'm chalking the issue up with an old graphics card.

Logon Studio
Mod Type: Logon Screen Skinning
www.stardocks.com

Next up is Logon Studio, which is only XP users can get for free. HOWEVER, it's no longer supported by StarDocks as they're focusing more on the Vista version (which you have to pay for). Logon Studio allows you to modify the look of the login screen (which is also visible when shutting down). While you can't make the logon screen to perfectly mimick the look of Windows 7 or Vista, but you can get it fairly close within XP's restrictions.

You can pick up "Logon XP" (as dubbed by StarDocks) skins from various sites like WinCustomize ( http://www.wincustomize.com ) or Deviant Art ( http://www.deviantart.com ). While the quality of logon skins will vary, the preview picture gives you an exact idea on how it'll look. If you don't like what you find, you can use Logon Studio to make your own if you're willing to invest the time to create what you want.

I have no complaints with this program as it's a small & simple modification that helps spruce up the otherwise drab look of Window XP's blue login screen.

Bootskin XP
Mod Type: Boot Screen Skinning
www.stardocks.com

YES, it's ANOTHER ITEM from StarDocks... but it you want to change the look of something, there's no better place to look. Bootskin XP allows you to change the look of the bootscreen, so you can look at something different than "Microsoft Windows XP" & it's boring throbber each time you start up. Just install & select the screen you want to look at when you start up the next time... THAT'S IT. Bootskin XP is free XP users, but it's no longer supported by StarDocks as they moved onto Vista (where they try to squeeze more money out of your wallet).

As usual, you can get Bootskin XP skins from various sites like WinCustomize ( http://www.wincustomize.com ) or Deviant Art ( http://www.deviantart.com ). The quality of the bootscreens will vary, as usual, but the preview picture is pretty much exactly what you'll get. I must note that due to the graphical restrictions of XP, anything that could be consider "High Quality" will still look like crap if the creator doesn't work within those restrictions. Creators that work within the restrictions will look better, but they may still have some "crappiness" leak though.

This is the one customization that caused my computer to become so dysfunctional, where it was triple-crashing before I could reach the login screen, that I had to uninstall it for the sanity of my self & my family. StarDocks does state that this program may be incompatible with some computers at a BIOS level & offer various (older) versions that may work better with your computer if this happens. Since you'll most likely only be able to look at the boot screen for about a minute, this modification isn't really critical. Just weigh the benefits with the potential problems that you may run into with this program. HOWEVER, I will note that the program can be easily uninstalled & any customizations undone. Once I uninstalled it, the programs at start-up vanished with it.

Visual Task Tips
Mod Type: Thumbnail Preview Utility
www.visualtasktips.com

Now for some less eye candy & something more functional! Visual Task Tips allows you to add a thumbnail preview of the item on the taskbar. While the program more closely acts like Vista instead of Windows 7, it's one thing that I have found VERY USEFUL when I'm digging through a large stack of stuff in my taskbar.

All that Visual Task Tips does is take a snapshop of the open window & inserts a thumbnail into the task tip. It's just one little utility program I have tucked away in my systems tray (only taking roughly 5 MB's of RAM to run). I've been using the program for so long that I will admit to taking that little program forgranted until I start using somebody else's computer. It's a program that's designed to be light on the resources as it allows you to choose how big the thumbnails are & how often the thumbnail is refreshed (I leave it as "slow").

The only problems I have with Visual Task Tips are very minor & known by the developer. These problems are mostly revolved around graphical processes. When using a WindowBlinds skin with transparent aspects & video players. The transparency issue is more pixel-shading based & the developer is working on a possible solution for this. The problems with video players is more of the issue of "Video Black" (as I call it) as most video players play videos on such a color, so when you try to take a snapshot of video playing, all you see is a black screen instead of what you want. The developer really can't fix this as it's more of conflicting programming ideals & it's more of the video player programmers to respond to the issue.

Despite these issues, I still highly suggest this.

Aero Snap
Mod Type: Window Resizing Utility
find.pcworld.com/62546

Now I'm taking a page from PC World, I'm giving a Windows 7 "emulation" utility program a spin. In Windows 7, Aero Snap allows you to move a window to the side of the screen (to the left of right) to do side-by-side comparison or move a window to the top of the screen to nearly maximize things without actually maximizing it.

The Aero Snap that works with XP does the same thing, but instead of running with the mouse, you have to use keyboard shortcuts to do the same thing. After selecting the window you want to deal with, you just hold down the Windows key (the one between ctrl & alt) & left (snap to the left), right (snap to the right), up (pseudo-maximize) or down (minimize). Please be aware that this doesn't work on applications with strict dimensions OR maximized windows

While I don't have any problems with this program (as it works just fine), it's just not something that would really use at the moment. This issue of apathy towards this program is monitor shape, which is the currently the old 4:3 standard ratio. If I had a 16:9 or 16:10 screen ratio, I'd probably use it more to do side-by-side comparisons or look-ups. My writing needs requires enough horizontal space to support an 80-character margin (which I use to write guides), which horizontal tiling would mess up & force me to go with vertical tiling. Using a desktop-expanding utility like 360 Desktop could solve such an issue, but it's a weak option as I'm still restricted to my monitor's viewing area & I NEVER enjoy the hassles of side-scrolling. Besides, 360 Desktop wasn't playing being completely nice with other applications I had running.

I'll give it a spin, but it'll likely wind up in the recycling bin in a few months due to non-use.

Aero Peek
Mod Type: Window Temporarily Hiding Utility
find.pcworld.com/62547

Aero Peek is another Windows 7 "emulation" utility program that allows you to temporarily make all open application windows transparent to get a straight look at the desktop. This is to allow you to avoid minimizing everything just to take a quick peak at a desktop widget. This utility hides in the system tray (next to the clock) & does exactly this in a click. A second click reverts things.

Despite the .NET 3.5 requirement (which adds a whopping 231 MB's to download this from Microsoft's website. I know, it's fucking rediculous for a simple utility, but I like having the offline versions of installers to save some headaches), it wasn't that bad to install. UNFORTUNATELY, shortly after I tried this little utility out, I found a major issue that forced me to uninstall this.

This is one of those programs that I label "Does NOT Play Nice with Others!" I have a launcher utility called RocketDock that I keep docked at the top of the screen & configured to give me access to my frequently accessed programs in 2 clicks without plowing through the start menu. As soon as give Aero Peek a shot, if fucked up RocketDock so badly, I have to kill my beloved program & restart it to get it working again.

As a result, Aero Peek found itself peeking through my recycling bin. HOWEVER, if you don't has such utility programs running & you use desktop widgets (Vista, Google or Yahoo!), you may enjoy this.

Aero Shake
Mod Type: Window Minimizing Utility
find.pcworld.com/62542

Aero Shake is a Windows 7 "emulation" utility program created by the users of Lifehacker (part of the Gawker network of newsfeeds). This program allows you to minimize all other windows by shaking the window you want to view.

While I don't have any problems with this program (as it's extremely small at roughly 200 KB), I have difficulty imagining how often I would use such a feature. It could be something that may take time to become second nature. Otherwise, it'll likely find it way into my recycling bin or collect dust in my document's folder.

 

While there are some other things you can do & some features can't be emulated in XP, you can at least get the look (if not exactly the feel) of Windows 7 with minimal cost.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 5.0: The Curse of the Netbooks
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's Midnight CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is not written in front of a live studio audience. Since it's written after midnight, the contents in here are uncensored by anybody as an act of first ammendment rights. Therefore, if you are easily offended by swear words or outrageous thoughts, STOP READING THIS BLOG ENTRY NOW!!! I don't want to hear any complaints from anybody because you read this with ample warning. I don't writing these warnings, but I do so to protect myself here. By reading beyond this warning, you hereby consent to such adult content. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED!

Over the past few days, I've been borrowing my brother's netbook to assist me in covering an event that I was attending. Upon borrowing, I was requested to optimize his netbook in hopes of improving performance & allow him to listen to music while doing other stuff. Upon this request, I have found the "curse" of the netbooks.

After optimizing (or "decrappifying", as some may refer to it), the overall effect was a whopping 5% improvement... 2% of that being from the registry defragmentation. This isn't a major improvement, the performance is still a disgrace from what it should be. It's slow, audio quality is crappy & I wouldn't bet my life on the netbook. Before some idiot starts arguing that I'm just dissin' netbooks, let's give the netbook a fair comparison here.

The Netbook

• Type: Acer's Aspire One
• Originally Made: 2006
• Processor: 1.6 Ghz Intel Atom (Dual Core)
• RAM: ~1.0 GB (~1024 MB's)
• OS: Windows XP Home SP3

The Desktop

• Type: Gateway Select
• Originally Made: 1998
• Processor: 800 Mhz (0.8 Ghz) AMD
• RAM: ~386 MB's (0.3 GB's)
• OS: Windows XP Home SP3

 

Start up
Systems are started up from full shutdown & then the clock stops when all start-up items are loaded. For this test, the desktop has a couple of handicaps. First, there's the user login prompt as it's currently set up for two users without either account being loaded (the netbook only has one account that's automatically logged in). Second, there's extra start-up items in it's list to increase it's start-up time. Regardless of these handicaps, the timing was consistent.

The winner here was the desktop with a start-up time of 1 minute & 31 seconds, when Rocketdock (the last item in the start-up list) appeared on screen. The netbook clocked in with a time of 4 minutes & 31 seconds when AVG (the last item in the start-up list) appeared in the system tray. It's obvious of the winner as the desktop reached the login screen at the minute mark & the start-up chimes played 5 seconds later. The netbook took 2 & half minutes play it's start-up chimes (completely garbled), but the system was nearly ready at the 4-minute mark. However, it took 30 seconds for AVG to load up & stop the clock.

By the time the netbook finally got it's goddamn act together, I was able to load up a preferred media player & a simple game (or my preferred text writing program) before the crappy netbook could do the same thing. To Add insult to injury, the desktop did it with HALF the processors, HALF the processing power & a THIRD of the RAM... yet it still managed to fuck the netbook in the ass twice before it could do anything.

Shut Down
This is another simple task. At the end of the day, you've closed all the programs that you've used & shut your system down until you need it later. While I prefer to use hibernation instead of a full shutdown (as it speed things up a bit), I performed a full shutdown for this task. The clock starts when I hit "U" on the keyboard at the shutdown option prompt (logged into a user account) & stopped when the system is off (as both systems automatically do this). Again, the desktop has a handicap as it's been configured to wipe it's pagefiles (2 - 1.0 GB files over 2 hard drives) as a security measure & it takes extra time to do so. The netbook was NOT yet configured to do so.

Well surprise, surprise... the netbook was the obvious winner with a shutdown time of 34 seconds versus a 1:37 of the desktop. It's the netbook's turn to be the bastard, humping the desktop for a minute there. Even if the netbook was configured to wipe it's pagefile (of 1.5 GB's), it would still whip the desktop's ass.

General Use
This is more of a subjective test as there's various things to contribute to overall rating. While I am overlooking the 186 pixel difference in screen resolution (desktop running at 1024 x 768 while the netbook is running at 1024 x 600), I cannot give either system a clear winner. I do, however, have to give the advantage to desktop for the handling quality of multitasking capabilities. When I work, I like to listen to music, either through Pandora or a preferred media player, & I have roughly 3-4 programs running at the same time. While the desktop handles everything fairly well & despite the occasional issues of processor grindage (yes, I'm a power user & I can fuck up nearly can computer that I can touch in some way), the desktop handles the music playback better than the netbook. The netbook tends to garble the music to some degree. The garbling becomes so horrible that it sounds like mating cats... continue this for about 3 minutes & you can see why I have to give the desktop the advantage.

To make the goddamn garbling issue worse, it seems that the program you use can make a difference! Using Windows Media Player 11 BY ITSELF can garble any music playing through it. The majority of the problem is with the visualizer, whether or not you're viewing it. However, even when you disable the visualizer, it still garbles the music a little. BY COMPARISON, using VLC Media Player did the job without any problems. Even when I enable the visualizer & increase the playback speed to 2.0x, there was no garbling (although the song played at 2.0x did incur some chopping, but that's acceptable with that occurence). Only when running additional applications with VLC that major garbling occured at the faster playback speeds (above 1.0x). When playing at regular speed, garbling was minimal.

 

The two major upsides to netbooks are price & portability (but not necessarily battery life). These netbooks have a starting price of $300 without tax, making it an easy choice for an entry PC / laptop... HOWEVER, you may want to consider looking in the $500 range to avoid some of the annoyances that I'm experience here. The netbooks are usually small enough that you can cram one into a binder that you would likely use for school or college to inconspiously transport one. HOWEVER, the major downsides are that you can't upgrade the hardware, so you'll most likely have to buy a replacement system in 3-5 years as your system won't be able to handle the requirements of the newer programs.

While I'll still prefer the capabilities of the standard laptops (larger screen, larger keyboard & better upgrade capabilities), netbooks are OK for an entry-level. They're not designed for processor grinding or major multitasking, but you get an OK computer for the price... just be aware of the gripes that more experienced users will likely have when trying use one of these dinky systems like a full-fledge one.

That's all for this episode of Too Damn Late. It's 1:30 AM & I have a busy day of preparation tomorrow.

Too Damn Late -- Episode 4.0: MST3K Primer
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's 1:58 AM CDT & it's time one again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is written (but not necessarily posted) after midnight. If you've been reading this series, you should perfectly aware that there's practically NO FORM OF CENSORSHIP DONE HERE! If you don't like swearing & other crude ideas... THEN STOP READING THIS ENTRY NOW!!! This warning is designed for the Stickenbaums of the world & to protect myself from verbal & legal assaults. If you choose NOT to heed this warning, don't go crying to me if you don't like what you read. VIEWER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

I've been watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 (commonly referred to as MST3K) before bed lately, mostly as mix of a bad movie & some comedy mixed together, as way to clear my mind & potentially crush my soul a little in order to avoid me staying up & writting these. For those who are unfamiliar with the show, it was a late night show that broadcasted a bad movie WITH a riff track by the host of the show. Pretty much they made fun of the movie while it was being broadcasted in order to make it more palatable for the viewers... Here's the very brief history of the show.

The series started at a TV station in Minnesota when a commedian by the name of Joel Robinson just started making jokes about the movie while it was being broadcasted on weekend. Despite some complaints, the majority of the calls were positive & a pilot season was made (or what the fans of the series calls it). Somebody from a cable TV network, which is NOW called Comedy Central, picked up the series in 1989. Joel was the host of the show until middle of the 5th season (in 1994), when he left on his own & the series head writer Mike Nelson stepped in.

At the end of the 6th season (in 1995), the show was on hiatus to create MST3K: The Movie, which Universal fucked them with a lousy run in the US. Unfortunately, the proverbial screwing didn't stop there as Comedy Central was canceling the reason & only gave the 7th season a lousy 6 episodes to end the series. HOWEVER, the fans were able to snag the interest of the Sci-Fi channel. Sci-Fi gave the series 3 more seasons, more like 2 1/2 seasons as the 10th & final season (in 1999) was only 13 episodes long. HOWEVER, the fans again kept the series in syndication until 2004.

The main reason MST3K has died on the air was mostly because of the royalty fees the movie companies were pulling out of the production company's ass to use their films, which causes some problems with some studios (especially the Gamera series). The spirit of MST3K lives on through the web with Rifftrax, where the main stars of MST3K continue rifting through movies. However, the movies they poke fun at are the larger named titles (Harry Potter series, Roadhouse, ect.) for pay-per-download. Rifftrax has gotten so popular that they added on-demand video services & has become the clearing house of other rifters.

The main premise of MST3K is that an crazy evil guy technically kidnaps an innocent guy (originally Joel, then Mike), fires him off into space (to a satelite) & force him to watch very bad movies. Joel created a couple bots from parts of the satelite for company: Gypsy, who is essentially the satelite's mother. Then Crow & Tom Servo, who accompanies Joel (then Mike) into the theater to watch the movie & make fun ot it with Cambot (the original bot on the satelite) to record everything. During the Sci-Fi era, the crazy evil guy was replaced with his mother, who took up the same quest of domination.

For those who are interested in getting into the series, here's a rough list of episodes that you should try to rent (you'll have fair luck with Netflix), find online (mostly through BitTorrent sites) OR YouTube (before the Copyright Cops kills them).

1) Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
Why not start the list with most accessible one ever! While it is shorter than any of the TV episodes, it does give you a good idea of the show's premise & a cross-section of what they normally do in the TV series (during the Comedy Central era).

The movie, "This Island Earth", main premise is that a nuclear scientist gets recuited by an alien race to help solve their energy problem, which give him & a fellow comade a round trip to an alien planet.

2) Episode 820: Space Mutiny
Part of the Sci-Fi era that has received good notes by fans. The movie's premise is that Earth is having overcrowding problems, so a large group of colonists depart Earth to make a 10 light year trip to another Earth-like planet. HOWEVER, a small group of people have different plans for the colony ship & start an internal war.

The biggest running joke here is that Mike & the bots keep raffling off random names for the main character. There's also a big continuity error ("It was awefully nice of you to give that dead girl another chance.") in the movie. While it's not a critical error, it does bring a few good laughs.

3) Episode 903: Puma Man
This movie actually contains a major movie star (see the old James Bond movies) that they do make fun of. The movie's premise is that can evil guy discovers an aztec (actually alien) mask & uses it in an attempt to take over the world. However, a superhero with "the blood of the gods" (the aliens who left the mask) to defeat the villian & restore the mask to it's rightful place.

This movie isn't that bad, but it's extremely cheese that it deserves to be in the "B-list".

3) Episode 907: Hobgoblins
This "Gremlins" reject has all the hallmarks of a bad movie, but it remains fairly watchable. The movie's premise is that these aliens (the Hobgoblins) have been hanging out in a movie studio's vault for 30 years before escaping & terrorizing a trainee security guard & friends.

As noted, it one of the bad movies where the rifting really shines through.

4) Episode 910: The Final Sacrafice
Noted as "The Worst Thing to Come from Canada" (MST3K's note), the movie's premise is that a kid who's being raised by his aunt discovers a map his father left behind & the cult that killed his father comes after him for the map. The kid runs into drifter, who is actually a former member the cult, who assists him into figuring out the secrets of the map.

The majority of the jokes revolve around the drifter, but it's another movie that you need the rifting to make it viewable.

5) Episode 424: Manos: The Hands of Fate
WARNING: NOT FOR WEAK WILLS! -- REPEATED VIEWS COULD BE CONSIDER AS TORTURE (OR AT LEAST CRUEL & UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT)!

This is the ONLY episode in the entire series that I can definately give this warning to as this is the candidate for THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME! This was done during the Joel era, but this so bad that no amount of rifting could salvage it. This is also the ONLY MOVIE there the "bads" actually apologize to captives about this movie.

If you can actually figure out the premise or the storyline of the movie, feel free to tell me AS I COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT! This was biggest issue with that movie that it was driving me insane.

6) Episode 1001: Soultaker
Fans of the series would enjoy this episode as it a bit of a "reunion" show with the former cast members (Joel & TV's Frank) returning just for this show. While the show's storyline overshadows the actual movie, the movie is OK in general.

The movie's premise is that the souls of 4 teenagers are throw out of their bodies in a crash & it's the Soultaker's job (played by Joe Estevez, who is related to Charlie & Martin Sheen, the closest thing to a major star you'll be able to find) to hunt those souls down before it's too late.

 

If you can find the actual DVD's for these episodes, you'll be able to watch the movie with OR without MST3K rifftrack. However, if you take the online route, you'll notice tape cuts where the commercials would normally be (as they're digitized version of VHS tapes that fans recorded). Either way, this list should give you a fair cross-section of the series.

If you can't really stomach the series, you might want to try movies that you're more familiar with at the Rifftrax website as they have small rift samples that you can preview to give you a taste before you actually have to cough up any money. If you can't enjoy rifts on movies that you may (or may not) like, you might need to get that christmas tree removed from your ass (hopefully star or the angel topper comes with it) as you obvious don't have a good sense of humor.

That's all I have for tonight... NOW GO TO BED!

Too Damn Late - Episode 3.0: The TDL Book Club
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's 1:25 AM CDT & it's time once again for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is written after midnight, so all the "common courtesies" like self-censoring, have gone to bed as well. If you're overly sensitive & easily offended by material... STOP READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW!!! I don't like writing this warning, but I do so in order to warn those who like reading my other entries. If you choose to keep reading beyond this warning, you do so AT YOUR OWN RISK! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Before anybody asks where Episode 2.0 went... It was stuffed into the TDL archives without seeing the life on the web. After a fair night's sleep, I thought it would be better off that it never reaches the web.

Anyways, this episode of "Too Damn Late" is dedicated to books. Although old-school by today's standards, there's just some times when you just want to turn off your electronic devices & let your imagination (which is probably in a comma, which all the content there is online) get a small workout. All books suggested in here have been read by myself, regardless of the age they're designed for. Without further ado, here's the list!

1) Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling (7 Books)
I know what you're thinking... Why starting with a fucking kiddie fad series? Before I got into the series, I was bucking the trend as well. However, J.K. Rowling's writing is really good & she presents a fairly modern fantasy series that could be plausible. While some things are out there, most of the ideals in the series mesh very well with reality.

While the movies (which is set to debut in 2011) are a fair depiction of the books, they're often heavily compressed for time & some items were modified to better suit the film. I still highly suggest that you read the books in order. However, I will note that the one BIG THEORY I had about the end of the 6th Book (which I freely told to some friends, who were interested in it) was actually confirmed in the 7th Book... but you'll have to read the series to find out... If you haven't read into any spoilers, as some websites & even some shows have done so.

Even though the first three books tend to have a light, happy ending... the 4th through 6th books have a darker, less-than-happy ending... which wraps up in a generally happy ending in the 7th. It's a great read that I have to suggest.

2) Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events (13 Books)
Yes, it's another kid's series. However, unlike Harry Potter, these books are a bit more adult than they originally suggest. For the main reason, these books are fucking DEPRESSING! You have to has some sadistic blood running through you if you don't get depressed a bit by the end.

The A Series of Unfortunate Events are done in a 3rd person "investigative" reporting style from the author's perspective. This is a totally different perspective that what most people read & it's done very well. Mr. Snickett (as the author prefers to maintain their pen name) doesn't bother to write any fictitious acts (although, the entire work is a piece of fiction... from what anybody can tell) or write any "happy endings" into the story, although there's been a couple of times that he wanted to. The stories are a fact-based retelling of the adventures of the Baudelaire Children.

While the movie does paint a fairly accurate depiction of their world, the movie doesn't really do the book series justice. First of all, it only covers the first three books of the series. Second, it places the events out of order & modifies some of the events to enhance the movie. Finally, it actually paints a fictitious happy ending... which shouldn't have been there at all (or at least in sense I believe in).

Each book contains a warning at the start of each book (as well as the back cover) that the book you're about to read is depressing & suggests that you drop the goddamn book & run screaming towards something with a happier tone. However, at the end of each book (excluding the 13th book), Mr. Snickett leaves a teaser about the next book in the series. Despite the teasers, the biggest teaser in the series is the dedication... which each book is dedicated to Beatrix. HOWEVER, you'll have to read the series to understand THAT TEASER

3) Snowcrash by Stephen Neilsen
For those who are wondering when I'm going to get out of the fucking children's section & get into more adult stuff... Your prayers are finally answered here! Snowcrash is one book that is a bit fragmented... much like your computer's hard drive (unless you anal about CPU performance, like myself, & actually bother to do some maintenance, you lazy bastards!). However, the book is very book as it paints a semi-realistic look at virtual worlds & virtual reality.

Snowcrash is done in a "Post Apocalyptic" world where a big-assed Electro-Magnetic Pulse wiped out all the major data centers around the world & the United States, as we know it, no longer exists in the traditional sense of states, but smaller "Franchise Countries" & the "30-minute delivery" policy for pizza is heavily enforced with actual timestamps. The main character is techno-nerd living out of a rental storage unit, but carries a vivid life instead the new internet, as a 3D virtual-reality world. This item called "Snowcrash" starts appearing in the VR world & in the real world & it's up to the main character to figure out what's going on & how to stop it.

As I stated above, the book's storyline is a bit fragmented as one chapter will focus on one character & the next chapter will sharply jump to another character. However, as the book nears the end, all the "chapter fragments" start to merge into one. Despite this one issue, that may make it hard for people to read, it's one interesting book that takes a look at one dark possibility that the world could take & make a piece of fiction out of it.

4) The ULTIMATE Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
This is actually a 5-in-1 compilation of the entire The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series in one easier-to-find book. HOWEVER, you could look for all 5 books if you really wanted to... but why waste the time & effort here? Again, another book that's done in the 3rd person perspective (from the Guide itself), it's done more for humor. Unlike other book series, these books, like the compilation, just seems to merge fairly well into each other. While it does hit some sci-fi stuff, Mr. Adams mostly did it for comedic effect than anything.

For this, I highly suggest NOT WATCHING the 2005 movie version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. While it does hold the ideals of Mr. Adams & the series, it doesn't really does the series any justice as it's more of a mish-mash variation of the big story than the actual story. Ironically, the movie does uphold Mr. Adams's ideals of the series, where the actual story is twisted yet again from it's original version... even after the death of Douglas Adams! The 1981/82 BBC Mini-series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is more accurate to the book, some of the visuals are heavily dated & it only covers the first two books. However, the BBC mini-series were made with the assistance of Mr. Adams with the existing books at that time... so you can't blame the BBC here.

Anyways, the The ULTIMATE Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy contains the COMPLETE story (across the five books, plus one short story) about the book itself & is heavily centered around the not-so-usual life of Arthur Dent once the "Fates of the Galaxy" & "The Guide" reveals themselves to him. As the movie trailer mentions it... "The Greatest Adventure Ever Begins... When the World Ends." This series is in the rare "Sci-Fi Comedy" genre, which is one of the most difficult genres to write about. While there is some technical jargon, where the relevant stuff is explained, it's mostly included for humor.

Despite the anti-climatic & abrupt ending of the entire series in the last book, it's still an excellent read. If you ever want to get some insight to some of the mysteries of life (or at least, one twisted looking into them) & enjoy getting a laugh in the process, you won't regret reading this.

5) The DaVinci Code by Jan Brown
My final book tonight is one of the more controversial books, but if you get past all the religious crap & focus on the main part of the story... it's a real thriller. Again, I don't give a flying fuck (although Think Geek would be happy to sell you one) what your religious views are. The religious stuff within The DaVinci Code is just there as a plot device, in order to keep pushing the story along.

Although the book is a bit fragmented & unbalanced (as a few chapters were only a page long... if that), it's a good read. The Movie version is decent as well, but like all movies, it compresses the entire book (cutting out some stuff... like the second cryptex) in order to get it down to a reasonable time. However, I still suggest reading the book to get the entire story.

The story starts out with a VERY RECENT murder of an important staff member of The Louvre by a member of an extremist religious organization in order to find "The Holy Grail". The Knights Templar & the "Sons of Zion" get mixed in here, but as you read the story... you find out that not everything is as it originally appears. However, you'll have to read the book to find out.

 

That's all for this this entry of Too Damn Late! It's 3:04 AM CDT & it's getting cool enough in my room to get a decent night's sleep... SO GET TO BED ALREADY!

Too Damn Late - Episode 1.0: Farewell Analog Television!
Topic: Too Damn Late

It's 12:12 AM CDT & it's time for Too Damn Late!

WARNING: Too Damn Late is written after midnight, so if you're one of those oversensitive people who can't handle swearing & other objectionable content SHOULD STOP READING NOW! The only reason why this warning is placed at the top of each episode of Too Damn Late is to protect myself from idiots like you. Needless to say "VIEWER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED"

As it's now June 12, 2009... All TV stations (excluding low power, local stations) have to kill their analog signals & broadcast purely in digital... if they chose not to kill their analog signals beforehand. For me, all the major broadcast stations decided to make the jump to digital on the original deadline (of February 17th). HOWEVER, my local PBS station keep their analog broadcast going until 12:01 AM CDT today & the local NBC station was designated as the "nightlight station" until April 19th (60 days after the jump) to serve as the "helpline" for those who didn't make the jump earlier, as part of the FCC rules with the transition.

Myself, I made the jump to digital back in March, 2008 as I was one of the first people to sign up for the DTV converter boxes. While the TV stations were still tweaking things a bit, you have to wonder WHY you didn't to it earlier! The claims with DTV were fairly accurate: More Channels & Better Quality. HOWEVER, things weren't completely perfect.

First of all, reception comes in 3 varieties: Good, Garbled & No Reception. There's practically NO GREY REGIONS here, unlike analog TV. Most of the stations are either good or not, but there a few stations that fall into the garbled catagory, where you get enough signal to find the station during a scan, but not enough to make it really viewable. There's only one station around me that falls into this catagory & it's extremely annoying when attempting to view it.

Second, antenna placement is more critical now! If you can afford it, get an outdoor antenna as it'll give you the best reception potential. Indoor antennas are OK, but they can be pretty fickle as placement of the antenna in the room as well as the occupants can affect reception. It is possible for someone's fat ass in the wrong spot in the room can totally fuck up your reception! Therefore, you'll want to take extra time during set up to maximize signal strength across your known channels.

Third, weather CAN AFFECT reception... sometimes in a big way! For me, the signal strength for one channel dips around 10-20% during the daytime, which can make throw it into the "Garbled Range". However, once the sun starts to set (around 6:00 / 7:00 PM), it works just fine. Rain doesn't hurt as much, but real extreme weather could spell disaster for your reception. You would be royally pissed off if a blizzard between you & your broadcast station fucks up your Superbowl party... however, if such an event happens, having a good party would be the least of your concerns.

Finally, not all DTV's & converter boxes are created equally. Sure, the all do the job, but some just do a better job than others... so try to test out stuff before you buy it, that way you don't get screwed when you get a crappy item.

With DTV, my channel offerings have practically doubled. Back on analog, I was only getting about 6-8 channels. On Digital, I'm getting 15-16 channels from the same sources, most of them are broadcasting 2 subchannels. My local PBS station has went a bit further with 3. Now have the CW, MyNetwork TV, America One, Create (PBS), World (PBS), Universal Sports & 24/7 weather.

Analog TV (with monochrome & color) has had a good run with roughly 60 years over the air... but it's time to evolve into Digital TV. May Digital TV have a good life before the next big thing appears. It reminds me of the song, "Video Killed the Radio Star" & the short-live parody "Internet Killed the Video Star", while it's fair to mourn the death of one format... it's time to move on to it's successor.

That's all for this episode of Too Damn Late for now...